Relationship

Does the person you are with encourage you to read? You have to ask, “What does he bring for me, roses or books?”

Be very cautious of those who bring roses for you, especially red roses. Books are what we all need, and books are dangerous. Books are dangerous because… read_more

What does it mean to have an inauthentic relationship?

To be authentic is to be complete and secure in yourself. Anything authentic is not in need of further improvement or refinement; it is already authentic. That is the way the authentic mind functions: it does not relate with the other… read_more

You were once a girl; you would have read mathematics, history, science, geography, languages. Didn’t you find inspiring figures there? Didn’t those books arouse fantastic ideas in you?

I am sure that when you were younger, you thought of excellence, didn’t you? You would have had dreams. In your dreams,… read_more

Only in aloneness can you have relationships that are not exploitative. Otherwise, it doesn’t matter what name, what color you give to your relationship; your relationship will be definitely one of exploitation.

Have you ever looked at your relationships closely? Do you ever want the other? No. You just want… read_more

If a woman is good and fine, then her lover or husband would spoil her. Women must be honored for her intelligence, her qualities, for her inner strength. But when you start giving her importance for reasons like, her body is attractive and she is very sexually appealing, then you… read_more

We are not talking of the perfect one; we are talking of the higher one, relatively higher. The higher person does exist. First of all, you must become that higher person, and then it is a case of holding hands to rise together, because that’s the shared love. What’s the… read_more

Whenever you get cheated in love, don’t blame anybody else. Ask yourself, did you not have anything better to do with your life that you went and clinged to a person? I ask you, is he worth being devoted to? Then why do you pick some man, some woman, and… read_more

If somebody has started encroaching upon your mental space, if somebody has really started affecting the way you go about your day-to-day activities—the other person has started showing up his presence even where he should not be—then you should know that the relationship is not going in a healthy way.… read_more

As long as the relationship is of need, the relationship will remain one of violence. You can never be more violent upon anybody than upon someone you love—so-called love. Because the greater is your love for someone, the greater is your investment in that person. And you invest in someone… read_more

Why did the breakup happen? And if you are you and he is what he is, then won’t the breakup happen again?

Do you know who you are? You are the one who will accept this guy back if he comes to your life.

Do you know who you are?… read_more

सुबह उठते ही, "जानू उठ गई? जानू टट्टी कर ली, ब्रश कर लिया? नाश्ते में क्या खा रही हो? क्यों खा रही हो? खा ही क्यों रही हो, पी क्यों नहीं रही? जानू पैरों से चल रही हो? सर के बल क्यों नहीं चल रही?"

अभी हॉट है मामला भई!… read_more

The problem is not the person you have the relationship with. If we look at it closely, the problem lies not in the other thing or the person, but in the relationship that we have with the thing or the person. That thing could be money, that thing could be… read_more

“Why am I with someone?” That question has to be asked. If that question has been honestly asked and reasonably answered, then you cannot go wrong, whether you marry or not, whether you remain with someone or not.

And mind you, these are not really permanent decisions to be made.… read_more

सब प्रेमियों की निशानी है – दो-दो, चार-चार घण्टे लगे हुए हैं फ़ोन पर। और फ़ोन पर नहीं तो आमने-सामने बैठकर एक-दूसरे का भेजा चबा रहे हैं। और मजाल है कि उधर से कचरा फेंका जा रहा है और तुम इधर से फ़ोन काट दो। बेवफ़ा कहलाओगे। कितना मज़ा आता… read_more

One can relate to the other without being psychologically dependent. And that relationship, then, is not of exploitation but of compassion. Now you can really say that you love the other.

If the other exists in your life to serve your needs, then there can be no love. There would… read_more

तुम अभी नये-नये किसी नौकरी में लगे हो और जहाँ तुम्हारी कोई हैसियत नहीं, औकात नहीं, आमदनी नहीं, तुमने अभी कुछ सीखा नहीं, कोई तरक्की नहीं करी, कोई पहचान नहीं बनायी, ना ज्ञान अर्जित किया। ना तुम अभी सामाजिक दृष्टि से कुछ हो, ना आंतरिक, आध्यात्मिक दृष्टि से कुछ हो… read_more

प्रश्नकर्ता: ज़िंदगी में कोई प्रिय है, जिसे हम बहुत ज़्यादा चाहते हैं, उसे हम खो देते हैं – तो वो अच्छा कैसे हो सकता है फिर? आचार्य प्रशांत: वो आपको बताएगा कि आपको जो दुःख हो रहा है, वो आपके प्रिय के साथ आपका जो रिश्ता था, उसकी अपूर्णता का… read_more

अध्यात्म यह नहीं कहता कि तुम स्त्री को त्याग ही दो। अध्यात्म इस बात की अक्ल देता है कि कैसी स्त्री की संगति करनी है।

किसने कह दिया कि अध्यात्म ने पाबंदी लगा रखी है स्त्री सहवास पर? कृष्ण को नहीं देखा? राम को नहीं देखा? इतने ऋषि-मुनि थे, इनकी… read_more

आपका साथी कैसा है, वो आपको नहीं पता चलेगा जब तक वह आपके साथ है। उसको जानना चाहते हैं तो उस दिन जानिएगा जिस दिन वह आपको छोड़ता है। फिर देखिएगा उसका चेहरा!

जब किसी का आपसे कोई स्वार्थ ना बचे और फिर भी वह आप के प्रति सद्भावना रखे,… read_more

Our relationship with the world is one of affixation, attachment, clinging, and at the root of that false relationship with the world lies a false conception of oneself. Because we perceive ourselves as limited, therefore we must cling to the world. Because the question ‘Who am I?’ has been answered… read_more

Inauthenticity is synonymous with dependence, and where there is dependence, there is bound to be fear. Is that not obvious? And where there is dependence, you cannot have loving and healthy relationships, be it with your books, or with your employer, with society in general, with the planet in general,… read_more

Weakness is such a great strength. The child controls the mother—how? Not through his strength, but through his weakness. Decades and decades of the mother’s life are controlled by the child through the child’s weakness.

If the wife is strong, or if the husband is strong, they would not really… read_more

When someone says, “Oh! I am suffering so much in a toxic relationship and I am yet continuing to tolerate it,” then he is just stating only half the story, either ignorantly or deliberately. The fact is, if you are tolerating a toxic relationship, you are deriving some pleasure out… read_more

Insecurity is there only when there is desire in the relationship. And desire, as you know, is self-centered. Are you relating with the other for your own personal pleasure or gain or happiness? Then does the relationship have much substance at all? And if it doesn’t have much substance, what… read_more

If the two of you could together shout and scratch and bite and tear and break and… If all those things could be done together, why not meditate and be loving and compassionate together? Or is companionship only for biting into each other?

So, having been companions, now it is… read_more

If in relating to the other you feel afraid, it is because the other has the capacity to hurt your interests, that’s all. Why are you so dependent? It might be that you are dependent just in a psychological way, or you might be dependent even in a financial way,… read_more

‘Relationship going bad’ is a euphemism really, and it does not really clarify what is going on. Relationship going bad means the minds of the two people in the relationship are bad. A bad relationship fundamentally indicates a bad mind.

And if their minds are bad, it is not only… read_more

This is the way most parent-child relationships are, this is the way most families are constructed—not on the foundation of love and Truth, but merely as institutions that exist for society’s sake.

How often do a man and a woman come together for the sake of Truth? How many people… read_more

The relationship is not rotten if two people are troublesome to each other. The relationship is really rotten when two people can’t even tell each other how big a trouble the other one is to him or her. And they often say, “It is for the sake of the other… read_more

Relationships are great when they help elevate your consciousness, and that’s the only purpose of relationships in life. If relationships are not fulfilling that purpose, then relationships are just a big waste, a great drag.

There is no better way, more effective way to waste life than to make a… read_more

When you say that you are in a relationship with one particular person, you are attached to that person, that person has become special to you, there it is only the interest of that one particular person that becomes supreme to you; you tend to neglect the interests of others.… read_more

What is physical cheating? If the relationship exists purely on the physical domain, then you will be greatly offended if you find your partner sleeping around with somebody else, because that was everything that there was to that relationship—the body. The relationship was all about the body, and the body… read_more

Most of us do not have a good relationship with ourselves. We say we want good relations with others, but firstly we do not have a good relationship with ourselves. If I don’t have a good relationship with myself, how can I have a good relationship with others?

To put… read_more

Now, that is love—something new, something fresh. It’s almost a surprise: you have not planned that “I must fall in love with that fellow.” That’s why it rejuvenates: you discover that you are young, and it is so beautiful, right?

Now, what happens to this? Very soon this love, which… read_more

Rarely would you find a man and a woman who would be able to trust each other without gossiping, without engaging in small talk, loose talk. In fact, the moment you are intimate with someone, you usually become that person’s dustbin.

As long as there was some distance, he would… read_more

A relationship of dependence cannot be a healthy relationship. A relationship in which the other becomes central towards your well-being is not a welcome situation.

In fact, the other that has become central to your well-being, is he even worthy of offering you that wellness? Chances are he might himself… read_more

Even when everything seems to be going right in a relationship, keep checking: Have I become dependent? Have I become exploitative? Have I started holding expectations? Has the other started holding expectations? Is the other blocking my view of the larger universe? Has the other become too central to my… read_more

You can talk about spirituality with some friend who is not very close to you, but you won’t want to talk spirituality to your mother, or to your father, or to your wife. It is very strange.

Even deeply spiritual people do not talk spirituality to their wives or to… read_more

If you think that you are in love, just check what the company of that person brings to you. Does it excite you or does it make you peaceful? Does he make himself felt or does he empower you to be alone?

A real lover will empower you. He will… read_more

You are lonely, so you go and tie a knot with someone who is as lonely as you are. Then there are mutual expectations, which obviously cannot be fulfilled because neither of you are capable of fulfilling them.

In a series of failed expectations, in a series of failed relationships,… read_more

Questioner: How can we help each other towards liberation?

Acharya Prashant: This question arises first of all because one perceives a difference, a separation, a dividing line between oneself and the other.

So, you are asking, “How can we help each other towards liberation?”

Liberation is liberation from this dividing… read_more

Questioner (Q): All experiences unfold in consciousness and are fundamentally subjective in the sense that there is no objective world out there independent of consciousness. This brings me to the concept of illusion. If the world and our experiences of it are illusions, then the world is devoid of meaning;… read_more

Questioner (Q): Sir, if we do something to make someone else happy by deceiving our own self, is it worth it?

Acharya Prashant (AP): No, you cannot make someone else happy by deceiving your own self. That kind of a thing cannot exist; that kind of a thing exists only… read_more

Questioner: Sir, in our age, we see that children and parents have differing thoughts, and these contrary thoughts often lead to unwanted debates and chaos in the family. So, how can both the parents and the children come to peace, agree with each other, and minimize the hurt?

Acharya Prashant:… read_more

Questioner (Q): My question is about global warming. As you have said in your videos, the problem of global warming is due to excessive consumption. In our final year of graduation when companies offer us placements, they offer us a lot of money and pick up the best minds using… read_more

Questioner: Sir, how to overcome emotional dependency and loneliness?

Acharya Prashant: First of all, there are not several types of dependencies. These types are very superficial. We might say, “I have material dependency, I have financial dependency, I have physical dependency, I have emotional dependency, I have spiritual dependency, dependency’s… read_more

Questioner (Q): I would like to ask your advice regarding decision-making. How rational should we be and how to weigh the consequences of our actions when we need to make important decisions in our life, like those related to work-life balance? How much importance should we give to our career… read_more

Questioner (Q): My question is about loneliness. There is so much technology available for social interaction these days. We can instantly connect to people from all over the world, have video meetings and such things, and then there are all the social media platforms. But in spite of having all… read_more

आचार्य प्रशांत: आपका साथी कैसा है, वो आपको नहीं पता चलेगा जब तक वह आपके साथ है। उसको जानना चाहते हैं तो उस दिन जानिएगा जिस दिन वह आपको छोड़ता है। फिर देखिएगा उसका चेहरा!

जब किसी का आपसे कोई स्वार्थ ना बचे और फिर भी वह आप के प्रति… read_more